More Star Trek Related Insanity...

The following is a PG version of a discussion I've had in the past because I much prefer the PG version.

Alright so, I've always wondered this. Imagine you're in the holodeck onboard the Enterprise and you're running a program in a train. You get that sudden urge to use the men's room so you go and use one the men's rooms on the train. What happens when you say "Computer end program"?

For me, there's only two options here, either it disapears like the entire program or it literally falls to the ground. In any case, whose job is it to clean the holodeck?

I'd like to know your opinion because I'd seriously hope it somehow disappears.

(My last "business" related note about Star Trek, I promise)

Is It Just Me or Have You Thought of This Too?

Remember Star Trek: The Next Generation? So that version of the Enterprise, called the 1701-D, had like 42 decks on it. On those 42 decks there were only 2 toilets for a crew of over 1000. My note isn't about imagining the ridiculous lines the poor crew had to endure just to use the washroom but rather about where it all goes.

I'm pretty sure that even in the future sewage technology hasn't advanced that much, I mean waste needs to go somewhere right? We'd have to assume that there's a facility on a ship that size where all the waste goes. Maybe it's just me but I'm kind of curious as to who would work in that place, aren't you? Like seriously, there's got to be a Waste Management Officer whose job it is to sit in a room all day and deal with all that crap, no pun intended.

My whole thing is why were there never any episodes devoted to that dedciated guy or gal down there in the Waste Managment Center. Cause like seriously, you don't get paid in Star Trek so you better like what your doing.

I'm pretty curious about that person, I'd love to to what race they are, who their parents are and what their life goals are as well. Mainly I'm pretty effing interested in how a person becomes a Waste Management Officer. I mean do you major in that at the Academy? Wouldn't that be totally ackward on dates though?

Cadet A: "So, what's your major?"

Cadet B: "I have a double major in Astrophysics and Xenolinguistic with a minor in Klingon literature. What about you?"

Cadet A: "Um... a special kind of Engineering..."

Cadet B: "What special kind?"

Cadet A: "I'm majoring in Waste Management with a minor in Matter Removal."

I don't forsee a second date for those two. Or could it be a job people are forced into?

Engineer A: "Oh... Waste Management, are you kidding me?"

I seriously would love to know how stupid that person has to be to end up in a position like that.

I am alone here? Has no one else thought of this?

My Murder, She Wrote Theory

First off all, Murder, She Wrote is one of my favorite TV shows of all time and probably the best American mystery show to ever appear on prime time. I know, I know, I'm not an old lady, I don't play canasta or shuttle board, I don't lawn bowl or curl but I absolutely love Murder, She Wrote. I do however have a theory about Jessica and her entire shtick. Yes, I just totally used a Yiddish word.

So my thing is this. I've seen all 12 seasons and 264 episodes.

That's not something I'd put on my resume, unless of course I was applying to the best job ever! I'm pretty sure after witnessing 264 murders in the span of 12 years I'd go freaking crazy. The poor women can't even go on vacation without their being a murder little own stay in her "quiet New England town." After 12 seasons I’m pretty sure Cabot Cove has more murders per capita than Compton. Also, Jessica always seems to be around when someone gets murdered. Aren't you getting kind of suspicious that she might be behind some of these murders? Like seriously after 10 murders that she happens to be around for, I'm hauling her in for questioning. Either she's the world's greatest detective and better than the professionals or she's helping the murders. That's all I'm saying.

Second, she's a murder mystery novelist who always seems to be around murders. Jessica, switch your genera. Write children’s books that way you'll coincidentally be surrounded by children. Or write cookbooks and be surrounded by unexplained incidents of food.

Last, what was between her and the doctor? Seriously, you can't tell me someone wasn't getting hooked up. Not after how many times he'd some over to eat her prize winning desserts.... just saying.

The Last Man on Earth

I was watching The Omega Man with Charlton Heston the other day because I have that kind of time.  That’s the movie I Am Legend is based on.  You know where Will Smith is the last person on Earth and I started thinking how cool that would be.  Then I realized something, in The Omega Man Charlton Heston’s character gets tormented by these people called “The Family” who are zombie-like victims of nuclear fallout and that part wouldn’t be so rad.  I guess the lesson is that you can’t always get what you want without gross mutilation and deformities.  Sigh...

Maybe it would be better to live in another Charlton Heston movie like Planet of The Apes.  This week I watched all 5 Planet of Apes movies, but thankfully not in a row.  I mean I have other things to do like sleep and go to school.  There’s a joke in there somewhere.  Anyway, imagine crash landing on a planet filled with talking apes and by the end you get off your horse, see the Statue of Liberty and end up going nuts.   I mean you got to admit three of those fours things are pretty cool.

Recommended movies are any film where Charlton Heston freaks out and since that’s a big list start with Soylent Green and go from there. For TV watch The Simpson’s episodes Deep Space Homer, A Fish Called Selma and Treehouse of Horrors V and VIII.

Introduction

Welcome to Movies for Maniacs.  I will be your host and Animal Psychiatrist Dr. Zaius as you come along for a wild ride into movie insanity.  If you're into pretty much every type of movie from sci-fi to war and bad movies to b-movies than check into the Movies for Maniacs hospital, dope up on awesomeness and never leave.

Also, if you like TV and music you will also love Movies for Maniacs as I will often post random Simpsons quotes and tell you why certain bands are awesome.

So come with me on this wild ride inspired by Charlton Heston's stunning performance in the 1968 masterpiece Planet of the Apes.  Totally not hyperbolic or over the top by the way.

Enjoy!